Jealousy
by Meibao
Summary: Two Parter. How come this boy was looking at his girlfriend like she was single? She felt the biggest smile she had on in days claim her.DxS,Darien and Serena both struggle with the green monster. Rated T for Safety.
1. Chapter 1: Darien

There was always a certain arrogance he had when it came to her. He ignorantly believed that he was her one and only, and if not for the fact they were linked to each other by such a strong bond of love, she would've went through the rest of her days as a lonely spinster. This was only strengthened by the fact that he never known her to be any good with guys, nor had he ever caught someone looking at her with the same eyes he did. So he was quiet sure of himself, in a way that was perhaps a little to egoistic for his own good, that there was no way possible on this earth that she could've ever found love with out him, and if they did not find each other she would have withered away a lonely old lady without ever knowing love. Not the most realistic thing, but this was his way of thinking and he would hold fast to it no matter what. Sadly for him, there was a quake that would come and shake down his whole thought process, and do the inconceivable by making him falter in this thought process…

* * *

I watched her in the glass as she rambled on about whatever latest trend she'd fallen into. I smiled, watching as she perused the shops looking for anything that caught her attention. She was completely oblivious to the fact I was staring at her, watching carefully the expressions in her eyes. Trying to memorize the way her eyes slightly widened when she saw something she liked, or got excited over what she was saying. I was happy being here with her, the way she clung on to my arm, the sound of her voice washing over me. I noticed that she grew up since I first met her in her first year of junior high, now in her third year of high school I could tell how she matured. I could see how much her beauty had begun to shine, but even as I dully noted the stares I was receiving from other envious males I couldn't see her dating any of them. I just couldn't imagine them next to her like I was now, and I didn't want to in my head I was the only thing that kept her from dieing alone.

I smiled smugly to myself, and pulled on but she had stopped. Staring at some shining beauty, I peaked over her shoulder to just see what she was staring at. A golden locket a beautiful heart with a shining jewel that had to be a diamond sat in the center. She seemed entranced by the glow of it, letting her hand sag slightly around my arm. I quickly noted where we were, and what shop it was. I'd get it for her later and surprise her with it. I let myself give off a big smile at the thought of her face when I showed her, but then pulled back. I wasn't going to ruin my perfect surprise already, after composing my poker face I gently pulled on her arm breaking the trance the jewel had given her. She looked up at me, dazed and confused like she didn't know where she was but it passed quickly and she flashed me her smile.

"Serena…?" That one single word was all it took. We both turned to the unfamiliar voice. I smiled smugly as I took in the boy who'd called her name. He was just a few inches taller that her, with caramel colored hair that fell shaggy half hiding his eyes. His eyes were green, but a bright vibrant green. I thought nothing of the boy, some one insignificant to me. I saw him as no competition, I thought of this boy as just a boy. My smile faded as Serena detached herself from me to run into the boys open arms.

"Jordan!" She cried as her arms circled around him, giving him a hug. I was completely put off, now regarding the boy named Jordan in a new light. Why'd she run to him so? What does this boy mean to her? What made her run to him? These thoughts circled my head, as I waited to be introduced to this Jordan. But as time stretched on it seemed as though I was forgotten. My composure was becoming fragile but I still managed to stand even as I was forgotten as she asked why he was back in Japan, or how his mother was doing.

It seemed like an eternity for me before the boy nodded at me. Serena turned around and seemed to realize that I was still there blush claiming her cheeks as I smiled at her, annoyed at best at her forgetfulness. I might have been more forgiving if this boy had not been looking at her as though she belonged to him. I was doing all I could to keep calm, how come this boy was looking at my girlfriend like she was single?

"Oh! Him?" She asked the question casually, I could feel the shudder going through my body as her voice dismissed me as practically nothing. But her actions proved different as she came back to cling onto my arm, smiling. The boy looked a little distressed at that which made me feel better. "This is my boyfriend, Darien."

I could feel my pride coming back, and I looped my hand around her waist pulling her close to me. I could see the hint of a challenge in his eyes, but he held back making me worry. He somehow forced himself to smile and held out his hand to me. I took it, knowing this would be a test. He grasped my hand firmly as he introduced himself. "I'm Jordan," He stated to me plainly, his eyes glinting with something I couldn't recognize "I'm the _ex_-boyfriend."

Before I could control it my eyes widened, only a fracture of an inch but I knew he caught it. His smile widened along side his pride. His eyes let me know that while I might have the title of 'The Boyfriend', for now, he was back and he was positive he would win her over. I reached the smugness in his eyes with my own; I knew what I meant to Serena. I wasn't worried in the least bit. With the connection between us that reached back into our past lives, and the guarantee of our future I knew I would always have the title, no one could take that away from me.

"Do _you_ have time for tea, Serena?" Jordan asked the question specifically to Serena to make sure I felt out of place, but instead of whole heartily agreeing she looked to me. "Do you have time? Don't you have class?" She had included me in the invitation even though it was obvious that Jordan didn't want me there. I smiled, looking down at my watch even though I knew I had hours before class. Jordan tensed not entirely happy of her dependence on me, and I played with it staring at my watch pretending to do the math in my head. It wouldn't have mattered if I had two seconds or two days till class I would've stayed. I don't think there could be anything that would tear me away from Serena right now.

"I'm good, Sere. Let's go." I caught him flinch at my nickname for her, but I only caught that out of the corners of my vision, I focused my eyes on hers watching them grow with happiness and joy as I agreed. Serena was dense most times, but she was picking up on our friction quiet easily, and seeing how hard I was trying not only made her grateful but ecstatic. I don't think I could've said no to her if I wanted to. It never really worked, all I had to do was look at those big blue beautiful eyes, and get swept away losing all self control. She turned her eyes away from me to smile at Jordan, "That sounds awesome Jordan. Can we also get cake?"

* * *

I uncrossed and recrossed my legs for what had to be the fiftieth time that night. It was the only thing that could keep me from scowling and drumming my fingers across the table. We sat at a round table outside of a café. Some how during conversation Serena seemed to gravitate towards Jordan as they chatted on about people and memories I wasn't involved in. She had unconsciously scooted closer to him as their conversation dragged on. They were practically on top of each other, I noted with an internal grimace. I didn't want Serena to see me this jealous, but it wouldn't matter. I figured I could be banging a gong in her ear; Serena had completely been immerged in her own little world with Jordan. I was positive that she had forgotten that I was even here.

Along side the fact that there was no doubt Serena had forgotten me; people passing by were staring at the two. If that wasn't bad enough, they were commenting on how cute the couple looked or that she was such a lucky girl. I bit down on my tongue, I wasn't going to say anything to the nosy people misconstruing what was really going on nor was I going to explode in anger at the fact I couldn't even comment in on the conversation. I stared off into the distance trying to ignore what was going on around me, but after a few minutes I found it was too hard to ignore my surroundings. I looked down at my watch. Still another hour to class, I inwardly groaned at the thought of what he might try once I was gone.

"Oh! The time I completely forgot? Do you have class now?" The shock of her voice jerked my head up. Had she been paying that much attention to me? Or had I zoned out while looking at my watch?

"Me? Oh no, I'll be fine." I stuttered out after a moment. Serena did not seem convinced with my answer, and how could I expect her too? It sounded like I had five minutes to get to class but not wanting to leave. I was going to have to think of something better than that. I knew she wasn't going to let it go, but what I didn't expect (but should have) was Jordan helping her.

"Darien, you go. Don't let us hold you back." Jordan

"You shouldn't neglect your studies! If you have to, go!" Serena

"It's alright we understand, you are a university man right?" Jordan

"Come on! Get going!" Serena

How could I explain to her now, or attempt to explain to her now that I had another hour left before I had to be in class. Jordan seemed all to ready to get rid of me, and my eyes narrowed at him. Serena was still going on about how I had to study hard to accomplish my dreams, and how going to class was important. I found it funny that Serena would be the one lecturing about studying but she was really going all into it. She was trying her hardest, and I knew that sometimes she felt like a burden to me. I wasn't going to stop hearing about it till I went, even if I was an hour early. Sighing, I put my hands up. Serena nodded, and Jordan extended his hand to me. We shook, he already gloating over his victory in his eyes.

Too bad his plan backfired, as I stood up so did Serena. "Thank you so much Jordan. It was really great to see you again." She bowed, leaving both me and Jordan left in shock. She sounded like she was saying…good bye? Her hand wrapped around my arm automatically clinging to my side. She turned ready to leave with me. I smirked looking at him before turning with her to walk away. He still didn't seem to get it, he weakly called her name. "Serena..?"

She turned toward him, "Darien's got to go to class and he promised me I could walk him there." She said with a smile, truly excited about seeing the outside of the university. I felt like releasing a laugh, as I saw him wither to nothing under her love for me. But he was not so easily broken.

"Do you mind if I come along? I wanted to see your mother again." I could feel my heart beating faster at the anger in him asking to go to her house. I felt like punching him, and I knew he could tell from my eyes what I wanted to do. But we both know my fantasies were just fantasies. If I ever touched him Serena would never forgive me, or if she did it would take a lot of sucking up. Serena took a moment to absorb the information, and then looked to me. "Do you mind?"

Do you mind? What the hell was that? Not only did she ask the wrong question, because of course I minded, she asked it with her blue puppy dog eyes. How could I say no? How could I deny her when she looked at me like that? I hated the look; it sucked me in making me feel like if I said yes it was as though all her dreams came true. Begrudgingly I nodded my head, "Sure."

* * *

The walk had been uneventful. The two of the rambled on about some type of cake her mother made for them all the time. Apparently he had been her childhood friend for years. He living in the neighborhood was always around and in her house. That did not make me any happier, and I was glad I had an hour before school started. I would go cool down before trying to actually learn anything. The only thing that made this whole torture worth it was Serena never once released her grip on my arm. I used to find it annoying especially as we reached my school but today I found it empowering and showing that even though she was deep in conversation with this loser I was the one who held her heart. That was the only thing that kept my smug smile on my face.

We reached the gates of the school; she was astonished at the size and beauty. I smiled as I pointed out things to her explaining what the students used it for most. That tree was the best to study under, or that bench had the greatest view. Not only was I doing something that Jordan couldn't, I felt needed. A few of my friends spotted me, called my name. I waved to them, and they waved back before heading into the building. I looked back to Serena who'd stop staring at the campus and started staring at me.

"You have to go, don't you?" I nodded even though I knew I still had at least a half an hour left. She nodded once in understanding then gave me a hug. I pulled her close, enjoying her in my arms. I let the seconds tick away before I pulled back from her. She gave me a weak smile, and I turned starting to walk into campus. I was mentally torn at the thought of letting her go home with him, but I hoped that Serena's mom would end up talking to him most of the time. I could see my friends hanging around the entrance, obviously waiting for me. I could see their evil grins, waiting to probe me for information about my girlfriend. I think this is the first time they'd seen her. The first time they believed she was real.

"Daariien!" I turned as I heard the familiar whine. Serena ran towards me, grabbing me into a hug that quickly turned into a kiss as she pulled my head down to hers. I could feel all eyes on us, but I didn't care. I pulled her closer to me deepening our kiss. The kiss was needy. She pulled away only when she had to gasp for air. She smiled at me, but I could see the tears in her eyes. I wiped one away ready to ask her what was wrong, but she seemed to answer it for me. "I was so happy I caught you, I forgot to give you your kiss and I just had too." She cried a little harder when she said this, but after a few seconds she caught herself and forced herself to stop. She took a step back smiled at me with reassuring eyes, and the turned running back towards the entrance.

I was completely satisfied with the kiss, but also significantly embarrassed. I turned back toward my friends only to see their grins had turned into cocky smirks. As soon as I was in their grasp the questions started.

"Is that your girlfriend?"

"Why didn't you tell us your girlfriend was _that_ hot?"

"So she does exist, the rest of you saw that right?"

"What's her name again? Hunny?"

"What was that kiss about?"

"Was that a normal good bye?"

"What do you do to say hello?"

"How far have you gotten man?"

Their comments just continued as I slugged to my locker trying to block out everything they were saying. They cornered me in the hall and with still fifteen minutes till class I had no where to escape. Sighing I silenced them all, and began answering their questions. Well most of their questions, not all of them. Some of them were answered with a punch. But once everything had calmed down and their curiosities were filled I started to drift into thinking of what Serena was doing. No matter how I tried to keep my thoughts happy, they turned incredibly dark.

* * *

The quiet that settled around me as I hesitated outside her door only made things worse. Not only did I already feel like an over-bearing jealous boyfriend, but now I felt like a _stalking_ over-bearing jealous boyfriend. He is just her friend, just her friend. I kept repeating those words over and over in my head on my walk over, but no matter how hard I tried the images that settled in my head from class stayed. No matter how hard I tried to listen to the professor, I couldn't. My mind kept creating images of them, sitting around her living room or even worse her room. He slowly enticing her hand into his, pulling her close and stealing a kiss from her lips, the thought of it made my hands clench. It took me more than a minute to force myself to calm down. I once again repeated my mantra; he is only a friend, just a friend. I forced myself to concentrate on the door in front of me. I raised my hand, it hovered over the doorbell.

Too afraid that in fact he would find her wrapped in the arms of her ex-boyfriend. He knew he hadn't always been the kindest to her, remembering the coldness he'd shown her recently. He got caught up in studying, growing annoyed by her constant calls or appearances, even if she only called once a day, or they bumped into each other on accident. He could see the way she calculated her moves around him, those few times they unexpectedly bumped into each other. He, as always, could only see how damaging his behavior was days after it happened. He had always believed in his theory that she could never know love without him there, but as the thoughts of his recent coldness kept his finger poised above the door bell his shell was cracked.

Swallowing as hard as I could, I pushed the button with what seemed like all my strength. It took me a while to realize a new fear inside me. I combed my hand through my hair aimlessly, as I hoped and prayed that her father would not answer the door. Serena's father didn't like the thought of a high school student with a collage student, nor did he like a high school student with a middle school student. But more so than that, I think he didn't like me personally, because I was the one that was taking his girl away. I could hear movement beyond the door, and I wished that it wouldn't be her father, _anyone _but her father.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. It wasn't Serena's father that answered the door, it was Jordan. I didn't think about him answering her door, because I didn't know that at such a late time would he be there, or would a _guest_ answer the door. My eyes narrowed at him, anger rising inside of me. All my jealous rage that I had let built up began to boil my blood. His green eyes were bright with arrogance and anger like I'd interrupted something. I felt my jaw set, and teeth grind together. "What are you doing here?"

"Your girlfriend." He whispered to me softly. He wanted to sure I was the only one who heard what he said. My hands clenched into fists, ready to punch him when a noise made me look up. There was Serena, coming out of the living room. She had slipped, but was getting to her feet walking closer to me. She was still in the same clothes she'd been in earlier, a thought that made me glad, but as she walked closer to the door I found myself analyzing the way her clothes wrinkled. Did it wrinkle in the same place before or was it made? Did that piece of hair fall out by itself, or because of activities? The jealousy I was trying to hold on to silently was burning away at my mind.

But the one thing I did notice was the way her eyes had slightly swelled, and had a tint of red blushed her cheeks. The swelling of her eyes indicated crying, but the red flooding her cheeks indicated something else. Jealousy ate at me, and sent an image of Serena being held down while Jordan had his way with her. I looked at Jordan, hate resting in my eyes.

"What did you do to her?" I asked my voice caught in a husky whisper, anger surging through my body. My knuckles were white, and I was on edge. It didn't take long for him to catch on my mood, and just before she could get close enough to hear he whispered right back, with a hint of challenge in his voice, "Nothing she didn't _beg_ for."

There was nothing that could have stopped me once he said those words. I punched him, right across the jaw sending him flying back into the house. I had busted his lip open, I could feel the blood on my knuckles as I stood in the door way like a mad man, huffing trying to catch my breath. She ran to his side, tears glistening in her eyes. She looked at me, and asked one question, "Why?"

I knew that I would never be right again. The way those beautiful cerulean eyes looked at me, chipped away a part of my heart that I would never get back. Amidst the dew drops of tears resting on the edges of her eyes waiting to be spilled sat an emotion that I never once wanted directed at me, fear. I never saw those eyes projected at me, even when I'd been under Beryl's mind control she never once shown me fear. Now I had no answer for her question besides the obvious, jealousy. I couldn't find my voice, as I watched those eyes full of fear. I couldn't explain now, my actions couldn't make her comprehend why I did what I did. I turned and ran from her, even though her voice called me back to her. She screamed my name as I took off down the street, and I could hear her feet behind me, but not for long. No matter what I didn't turn back, I don't think I could handle it if I had to look into those eyes again.

* * *

I stood in my living room panting. I had practically run home after I saw the look in those eyes. My heart, which had fallen into pieces hurt each time it beat and every time I closed my eyes I saw hers. Those big beautiful cerulean eyes full of fear. My breath came in raggedly, and my hands tremble. My legs shook but I couldn't move to sit down, I couldn't move my body anymore. It took a while before I could unclench my hands, and even though I felt the dried blood crack I couldn't make myself wash it off. If I did, I wouldn't be able to tell that I actually did it.

I could still feel the bones of his jaw lightly on my skin; it tingled as my breathing slowed. I couldn't count the minutes I stood there shaking in my living room. It was dark I hadn't bothered to turn on a light, and I fumbled around now even though I knew my apartment like the back of my hand. But now just as the blood that coated my hand, a dark haze coated my apartment making everything different.

I just flicked on the light when I heard knocking. I took a deep breath to steady my self as I moved to the door, and each second I took to get there only intensified the knocking. I opened the door without bothering to look through the peep hole, but now wished I did. There she stood heaving with tears running down her cheeks. Her eyes no longer filled with fear, but worry. She stood there for a minute with her hand still raise to knock, and I took her in her hair blown every which way, shoes half-way on and no jacket.

She grabbed onto me with such force I had to take a step back to steady myself. I closed the door as I felt the tears seep into my shirt, and as the wet spot grew so did the grief in my heart. I had caused all the tears, and I wrapped my arms around her. "Serena…"

She looked up at me with big eyes, and all my words died in my throat. What was I going to say? What could I say? I gulped, and it seemed to shake her out of her daze. She broke away from me walking a few steps into my apartment, I was worried. Was she going to tell me that she was done with me and my overbearing jealousy? I waited while she calmed herself.

"Darien, I'm so sorry that I'm so childish, and selfish. I know I'm a burden, and I'm holding you back, and then all those games Jordan went on to play…" She prattled on about being useless, and it took me a while to realize she was apologizing to me. Anger filled my system; did I really make her feel like this? I grabbed her from behind pulling her close to my chest, which efficiently shut her up. I buried my nose in the top of her head, holding her as tight as I could. I realized she was shaking, and I inhaled a whiff of her sweet scent before replying to her.

"Serena, you are the best thing in my life. I did what I did because I was jealous. I had been so mean to you the past couple of weeks, and then you were alone at your house with your _ex_-_boyfriend_…" I trailed off to afraid to continue with that train of thought; I would keep my dark nightmares to myself. "I was so scared you'd get fed up with me, Serena."

She gasped, and turned in my grasp to look me in the eye. I couldn't help myself, as I lowered my head and hers came up to meet mine. Our lips connected and I could feel her uncertainty, I broke away from her and into her eyes. It was only a few seconds before she pushed herself up on her toes and secured my lips with hers. This time to prevent me from moving away she worked on of her hands into my hair and pulled me to her. I complied, and her tongue brushed alongside my lower lip, before she parted her mouth. I took that as my cue to let my tongue explore her mouth tasting her. She moaned into my lips, and I angled my head even more to deepen the kiss.

We kissed each other hungrily before she broke for air. Her breath ragged as she looked up at me. She looked nervous. She started talking but turned her head, as though she was ashamed to ask. "Who was that other woman?

"Other woman?" I both asked her and myself. I was trying to think of when I was with another woman? Serena seemed agitated at the blank I was drawling, and I wondered if she thought I was lying.

"On your last day of exams, you walked from the university to a block from your apartment. A tall brunette?" I mentally made a note of her knowledge of where I was, slightly thinking I might be being followed. The only tall brunette who would walk home from the university would be Kali; she was in a few of my classes. She worked at the Deli, a few blocks from my apartment. Did she walk me home that last day of exams? I was so exhausted I didn't even know I was walking.

"Were you spying on me?" I asked her. She tinted red, and looked down at the floor, but only for a second. Her face turned back up toward me in anger, and she took a step back against my embrace. I only clenched my arms around her tighter in response.

"It isn't spying if you didn't come specifically to follow them around." She muttered, and I felt myself chuckle before I could stop it. She took a second step back quickly breaking through my defenses, and she took a third step back out of my reach. "You didn't answer my question. Who is _she_ Darien?"

"Her name is Kali; she's in a couple of my classes. She works at that deli a few blocks up, I was exhausted she walked me home to make sure I didn't collapse on the way, and then she went to work." I stated, and she seemed to lose that edge. I was tempted to grab her again, and pull her into one of those earth shattering kisses, but I stopped. Somewhere in the back of my head images of her a Jordan still loomed. "What about Jordan, who is _he_?"

She looked at me perplexed for a minute, before she understood what I was actually asking. I wanted to know what had happened between them, and if I should be going back to punch him again. She smiled at me.

"Jordan is my ex-boyfriend. We dated…" She paused, and I could tell she delighted in the way my body automatically tensed. "…for a week." I could feel my body relax, and she clung to my shirt again. "He's too much like an older brother, than a boyfriend." She pulled my head, and brought her lips close to my ear. "Nothing happened." She whispered, and I felt myself shiver. I pulled back to see her face, and her smile. I felt my lips twitch into a smile, and I knew I should have never doubted her love for me for a second.

I leaned my head down to claim her waiting lips.

* * *

First of Two Part. Please Review.


	2. Chapter 2: Serena

It wasn't spying if you didn't come specifically to follow him around. Or at least that's what she told herself. She had to hold on to some sanity, that she still trusted him and that what she was seeing was just some delusion or dream. But no matter how many times she pinched her self he was still there. Still there with the other girl getting suspiciously closer and closer to his apartment building. Why was the girl's hand on him? Where was he taking the other woman? She sighed as she sneaked closer; she kept a fair distance between herself and the couple. She just wanted to greet him, and give him the cookies she had made for him. Each step she took in the direction of his house made them feel heavier. With only a block to go, she turned tears running down her eyes… was he really cheating on her? All she had to do was confront him, and he would tell her that it was nothing. She was just getting some notes, or she lived in the same direction something that could easily be explained away as nothing. Simply nothing, but as her feet ran in the opposite direction she could only feel her doubt growing.

**______________________________________________________________________________________**

It had been weeks since she could be with him like this. She clung fiercely to his arm, she knew he was a good looking guy and could easily read the looks other women gave him. '_Why are you with this thing? I could show you a good time....'_ She could feel his eyes on her, but she still wanted the others to be sure. She clung tighter to his arm sending a message to every other girl who thought they might try to get at him; she was saying 'This is mine.' She windowed shopped as the walked down the street, he had kept his pace slow giving her time to look in the windows. She let her eyes pass over things as she rambled on about the latest trend.

Her eyes traveled over most things in the windows with no interest. Nothing stood out to her. She kept herself from sighing feeling down since she watched in horror as her beloved walked with some other girl, dangerously close to his home. She knew it had to be nothing, but the image of them walking down this same street only a few days ago wouldn't leave her mind. Her eyes caught the sparkle of something, and she stopped moving as she stared. It was a beautiful golden heart. It was a locket, she could tell but what really made it sparkle was the beautiful diamond that shone from the middle. It was so beautiful she couldn't tear her eyes away, till she felt the small pull of her arm. He looked at her with a straight face, and she felt so childish in that second. She smiled at him, but it didn't quell her fears. He was already a third year at the university, and she a third year in high school. Nothing but a small child compared to the beautiful intelligent women who attended school with him.

Her shell felt ready to crack. It would only take something small to break what was left of her heart. She knew this was only the calm before the storm. And the storm was not far away.

"Serena…?" That voice. She turned in time with him. They both looked at the newcomer. She knew who this was. This was her childhood friend, this was her salvation. He had changed over the years, letting his caramel hair grow shaggier it falling around his eyes. His beautiful green eyes that were always there over her many cry baby years. He stood their waiting unsure, though Serena was almost positive that he knew exactly who she was. She felt the biggest smile she had on in days claim her face as she freed herself.

"Jordan!" I cried as I ran to him. He swallowed me up in a hug, and for the first time since the incident I felt truly happy. I pulled away from his hug, asking him few questions. In the end they all came out in one heap like one big long question, "Whendidyougetback?Howsyourmom?Whereareyoustaying?Howlongwillyoubehere?Whyareyouback?" It was the big mega question all spilled out in one breath. He laughed, and pulled me back into a hug. I couldn't help my self my arms snaked around his back pulling him tighter. After what seemed like only seconds he pulled back and begun to answer my mega question. Answering each of my questions in the order I asked him, I smiled. He was still the only one who could understand when I talked in all on breath.

Jordan had answered not only my mega question but a few of my others, before he nodded behind me. I turned around, who was Jordan talking about? I swallowed nervously how could I forget about him? I felt the blush creep to my cheeks, as he flashed her, a very forced smile. Once again my child-like forgetfulness probably was getting on his nerves. I was sure that was one of the reasons he'd want to go with an older woman. It took me minute to shake out of my gloom.

"Oh! Him?" My voice came off high, and a little dismissing. I winced as I heard my own voice. I could see him physically shudder, knowing once again what an annoyance I was to him. I hesitated just a second, something he didn't catch, before walking over and reclaiming my hold on his arm. I knew Jordan had seen the hesitation in my movements, I could read the distress in his eyes but I tried to smile it away anyways. "This is my boyfriend, Darien."

I could only feel happier as his hand moved in my grasp around my back to clutch my waist pulling me in tighter to him. I could see it in Jordan's eyes, he was going to provoke my poor Darien. I wanted to shout out at him to stop, that he was already about to give up on my silliness and there was no way this uncalled for provocation was helping me in anyway. Jordan forced himself to smile normally, not into one of his big grins like he wanted and held his hand out for Darien. Darien took it giving him a firm shake. "I'm Jordan." He said, his eyes glittering with knowledge, "I'm the _ex_-boyfriend."

I looked up catching the fact that Darien's eyes widened with what I hoped was jealousy and not shock. Turning quickly back to Jordan I knew that he had also seen widening of Darien's eyes. With that I knew the male testosterone battle had begun, all I could do was hope to make peace for a few moments even though I could tell Jordan's eyes were taunting Darien there was nothing I could do. Jordan let his eyes move from Darien to me, his eyes reflecting his next strategy. I made myself look completely oblivious, I wasn't going to be pulled into this anymore than I had to be.

"Do _you_ have time for tea, Serena?" He asked, talking directly to me and emphasizing that fact that I was the only one who was invited. I was torn, if I brought Darien along the game would only get worse, but if I left without him I was sure Darien would give up on the silly little girl I was. I turned to Darien, he got to decide if the game continued or not. "Do you have time? Do you have class?" He looked down at his watch with a smug smile on his face, Jordan angered that I had upset the game by giving Darien a choice and a perfectly legitimate excuse to end the game here. He tensed as he watched Darien, but that only let Darien's smile grow. I knew what was going to happen even as he stalled long. Darien was here to play the game.

"I'm good, Sere. Let's go." He stared directly into my eyes as they grew wide with joy. It had been so long since he'd called me Sere. He had been taking mid-terms these passed few weeks and each time I called to check on him or hear his voice, he was still stuck in his serious mode calling me Serena. I only scraped five minutes of conversation from him in the whole two weeks. By the end, he only had to pick up the phone for me to be happy. He'd been grouchier the last couple of days but I had to call even when he answered with a snap. He had been working himself so hard, I had made sure I stopped going over but I wanted to make sure he was still alive. I didn't want him to pass out all by himself. But after seeing him with that girl I wondered if I wasn't interrupting something when I called. Finally the tense atmosphere had crept into my skin, and I could see the staring war was going on. I pulled on Darien and flashed him another smile, he seemed content with that and we began to walk. "That sounds awesome Jordan. Can we also get cake?"

**______________________________________________________________________________________**

It took me a while to realize how fidgety Darien had been getting in the past few minutes. He seemed distracted. I could understand the fidgeting, because Jordan made sure to turn the topic of conversation back to days before Darien anytime he could. Jordan had an excellent way of doing this, and distorted what ever I said back into some old joke. No matter how hard I tried I would get caught up in the nostalgic feeling and be carried away into the joke. As if that was not bad enough somehow Jordan had managed to maneuver me even closer to him as the stories flowed, and I was now sitting as close as possible. I wanted to move away but Darien hadn't said anything about it. Somehow I couldn't seem to tear myself away from Jordan. Somewhere in the back on my head a little voice told me, **Darien didn't say anything because he didn't care**.

Sitting outside the café was a bad move; sitting around a round table was also a bad move. The only way Jordan's trick would've worked, but it didn't seem to have any affect to Darien. Zoning out on Jordan I looked past his head to the people walking down the street. Some of the more nosy people looked in on us, and automatically assuming Jordan and I were a couple started commenting on how cute we looked together, or how we were such a cute couple. I thought if anything Darien would try to call my attention, try to do anything to stop it. But the longer I waited the more I felt disappointed. I snuck a glance at him, and he was staring off into the distance. He shifted and looked down at his watch. I turned back into Jordan making a comment on whatever he said, distracted as Darien was still staring at his watch.

My heart stopped, he didn't have class for another hour. So what did he look so impatient to get to? Jordan turned and looked at Darien, but then he turned and I knew he had to see the distress in my face. Taking a deep breath, I put was ready to try out my experiment. I would ask how he was doing on time, and see what he said. It took me a moment before I was sure I would be able to say this without crying, Jordan watching all this I knew that he would ask me all about what was going on the minute we were alone. "Oh! The time I completely forgot? Do you have class now?"

"Me? Oh no, I'll be fine." I waited silently hoping for him to add more. He said nothing else. I'll be fine? He wasn't even going to attempt to explain that he had another hour left? Why did he look like he needed to get somewhere? Staring at his watching, and zoning out? Did he have to meet someone else? Was he trying to get to school earlier for some reason? Could it be because he didn't want to hang around Jordan? That little voice killed my hope; **if Darien was upset about Jordan wouldn't he have tried this earlier**? I could see him trying to work out some way to better say it in his head, but Jordan wanted him gone.

"Darien, you go. Don't let us hold you back." Jordan started, and I took a breath before I continued on.

"You shouldn't neglect your studies! If you have to, go!"

"It's alright we understand, you are a university man right?" Jordan added again.

"Come on! Get going!" I practically shouted.

And after that I couldn't stop myself. I just kept babbling on and on. I was talking him into leaving, going on and on about how important school is, and the he should study hard. I couldn't stop myself. Even though I knew he didn't have to be in class for an hour or so, and his school wasn't so far away. I gulped, trying to stop my lecture but I couldn't because in the back of my head I could see him walking next to that beauty from the other day. I could see the two walking closer to his apartment, and see them in the elevator. I could see them unlocking his door, and walking in not bothering to stop in the living room but heading straight for his bed room door. That's where I had to stop, if I kept these dark thoughts in my head I would start crying again. Darien sighed, and put his hands up. I knew he would go.

I gave him a nod. Jordan held out his hand, and Darien took it both of them glaring at each other. I bit the inside of my cheek, if I was left alone with Jordan he would start to pry about the relationship. Jordan would want to know why I looked so worried around him, and why I was acting the way I was acting. I decided it'd be easier to follow Darien, and see if I could spot that girl. I stood up when Darien did and bowed, hoping this would work. "Thank you so much Jordan. It was really great to see you again."

But I was never so lucky. Jordan hadn't probed me for information yet, and he wasn't about to lose me. "Serena…?"

I turned toward him, and forced myself to put on fake excitement as I rattle off my lie, "Darien's got to go to class and he promised me I could walk him there." Darien had never made such a promise but he looked so happy to have won their little male game that he didn't say anything. But Jordan wasn't going to let go so easily.

"Do you mind if I come along? I wanted to see your mother again." I could feel my eyes harden at his perfectly legitimate excuse. When he was little he practically lived at the house. If I went home without him and told my mother I'd seen him, I'm sure I'd be locked out till I found him again. Something flashed in Jordan's eyes a clear message for Darien, and Darien's eyes harden. I could tell that the testosterone levels had risen and it was round two, once again I let Darien choose. I turned to him, "Do you mind?"

I looked up at him. I stared at him as hard as I could. I was hoping he would make the right choice, hoping he would say 'No. I don't want your ex-boyfriend going home with you.' But I wasn't that lucky. Darien was 0 for 2 tonight. He nodded his head, "Sure."

**______________________________________________________________________________________**

Walking to the university filled me with dread. I knew Jordan saw it in my eyes, as I clung on to Darien for dear life. The reason I wanted to walk him here was to show everyone that Darien was taken, and that he was mine. If there was anyone who wanted to dispute that I was right here. But still if Darien had turned me away again I don't think I could live through it this time. I was barely living last time he broke my heart, I was sure if it happened again I would die. Jordan could detect my stress, and started telling his stories of our childhood. Jordan had been my best friend; he was one of the first friends I made when we moved here. He was there for me in school, at the play ground, when I was scared Sammy would take all of my mom's love away, when I tried to run away and join the circus. Jordan and I have been friend since I could remember, and here he was again trying to cheer me up.

Or annoy Darien. I could feel Darien's arm tense in my grasp every time Jordan mentioned being in my house, or eating my mom's famous lemon pie. I could only be hopeful that he was tense because of Jordan's stories and not the fact that we were nearing the university, and his possible other girlfriend. I kept my eye out for the woman I'd seen him with but so far nothing. We reached the gates, and he huddled me close. Pointing out cool places on campus, you couldn't see too much from just the gate but he pointed out silly place like 'that tree was the best to study under' or 'that bench had the greatest view.' I smiled at him. Some friends called to him, and he responded back. I couldn't see the girl among them, but I tried to memorize their faces. If I saw one of them with Darien I wouldn't cause myself this stress. Darien looked back at me; he looked like he needed to go. Even though I had tried to make the walk longer I knew he still had at least a half an hour till school, but I hoped that he would correct me.

"You have to go, don't you?" He nodded, and I felt the knot in my stomach grow bigger. I wondered if he was going to meet her in the classroom, or out in the hall. They could walk around the huge campus and find some spot with nobody in it… I had to stop myself I couldn't let my mind wonder. I nodded back and threw my arms around him. He let me hold him for a while before pulling me back. I offered him a weak smile and he turned walking into campus. I moved to watch him but he'd seemed to be walking faster. Wasn't he walking too fast? That wasn't how he normally walked. My heart beat faster and all I could see was him walking out of my life. My legs started moving before I realized what I was doing.

"Daariien!" He turned around as I whined. I kept running at full speed, grabbing him into a hug before reaching up to claim his lips. I pulled his head down towards mine, I needed this kiss. I could feel the eyes staring, and I wanted them to stare. I couldn't even count all the women that were walking by us, word would get out. But I wasn't worried about that; I was worried about him leaving me. I put everything I had in that kiss; I just needed him to know. He responded holding me tighter, and I only pulled away when I needed air. I tried to give him a smile but I could feel the tears in my eyes. He wiped one that had spilled, and I knew he was going to ask so I answered in my gibberish for him.

"I was so happy I caught you, I forgot to give you your kiss and I just had too." Because you might walk out of my life forever, and I couldn't handle it if you did, I added in my head. I just needed him to hold on to me, because I felt like he was slipping. I cried a little harder as I said this but I had to stop. I forced myself to stop. I took a step back and smiled my biggest smile. I tried to calm my eyes I wouldn't want him to worry, but I didn't know how long I could keep it up and I ran back towards the entrance.

I had forgotten that Jordan would be waiting there for me, and now that Darien was gone I no longer had protection for him. His eyes told me that I wasn't going to like this, and I gulped. I was almost scared to walk home because of the questions. He was going to ask me things I had not even told the girls about. He was going to ask me what was going on with Darien, he was going to ask what happened, and he was going to _make_ me tell him about that night I saw Darien and that girl walk closer to his house. And then when all of that torture was over, and he had everything he needed Jordan was going to go and confront Darien. Then I could no longer hope for this to blow over, because Jordan was going to be sure of what went on that night.

I was afraid. Afraid that the little voice that had been nagging me in the back of my head had been right all along that Darien's affections were waning, and that he really didn't care anymore. **Darien was hoping Jordan would steal you away, so he could be rid of you without all that annoying wailing and without looking like the bad guy**. I tried to push the little voice out of my head and even though I was successful now I knew it would only grow, and I wouldn't be so lucky next time. Jordan's brilliant green eyes saw right through my façade, "We need to have a little talk Serena."

**_______________________________________________________________________________________**

I rubbed my eyes trying to get the rest of the tears. On the walk to my house, I had kept Jordan at bay with useless information knowing he was waiting till we would have privacy. Sadly, my mother only kept his attention for a little while before ushering us into the living room then left us alone to catch up. She returned a few minutes later with drinks and snacks then left us truly alone, and I could no longer hide from Jordan. It only took a few well placed questions about my behavior with my boyfriend to send me into tearful explanation.

I told him about exam week, and told him I understood Darien's behavior. He was studying, and I was being a burden, and from that I spilled into how I felt like I was holding Darien back, but I couldn't give him up because I was so selfish, and childish. Which lead to the night I found him and the other woman walking to his home, and how I knew I couldn't compare to the women at Darien's college. I spilled all this out to Jordan, his composure only gaining anger, as I explained tonight. I told him how Darien wasn't jealous at all, and him going to classes an hour early, and everything else that went with it. Jordan's face went blank at that, and he let me cry.

I don't know how many minutes Jordan sat there watching me sob, but he did so quietly and I felt better. Not only had I told someone my doubts, but I had a good long cry. I took a deep breath, and Jordan looked at me.

"You done?" I nodded, ready for him to go on a rant, or over react or say something about confronting Darien. He just sat there a while, and looked at me. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it, and looked at me for a long time again.

"You are stupid." I gasped at him, not what I expected from him. He had always been like an over-protective brother, so why was he now attacking me? I once fell over a twig, and he over reacted going off on a random by passer. I was pulled from that as he continued, "Darien is in love with you. Can't you see? He was barely able to keep himself from punching me."

I sighed, trying to think back was it really jealousy? **No, he was annoyed and distracted… he was waiting to see his **_**woman.**_ The dark voice in my head made me re-look through the nights events again, not really sure what I believed. I just shook my head; no way would Darien be jealous. "There's no wa-"

I was cut short by the door bell. I was moving to get up but Jordan was faster than I was and he dashed through the door, and down the hall. I got up moving to the door way to peak at the door, but when I heard the sound of another voice male voice I tripped over my own feet. By the time I got off the floor I could see Darien standing there, I almost gasped as I slowly made my way down towards him.

I could feel him looking over me, his eyes clouded with some emotion I could recognize. I was almost close enough to hear what they were saying when everything changed. It only took a few seconds, but it all happened in slow motion before my eyes. Darien's fist flew back and then at Jordan's jaw, Jordan flew back a couple feet being knocked to the ground and sliding farther from the door. I gasped running to Jordan's side, my eyes filling with tears. "Why?" I whispered to Jordan, but my eyes found Darien.

He stood their huffing, Jordan's blood trickling down his hand. I was so scared, that he would turn and run. I was so scared that he had enough of this child and her friends, and he was ready to re-enter the world of adults. He would write this whole thing off as some stupid childish thing, and be done with me. I was so scared he would leave me, and I barely survived the first time there was no way my heart could handle it a second time if he left.

Darien did turn and run, and I followed him screaming his name. By the time I got to the end of the small pathway that led from my house to the sidewalk he was already down the block and fading from view. The tears poured from my eyes, as I slowly shuffled back to the house. I walked in to see my mom helping Jordan to his feet, looking at his busted lip. Anger in me surged, and with all the strength I could muster I pushed Jordan up against a wall.

"Why?!" I demanded, "What did you do to him? Why'd you have to ruin everything?" I screamed my voice turning shrill, and he cringed. I knew I hurt his ears, my mother stood a few feet behind me unsure of what happened or what was going on. I was so angry at Jordan, why did he have to upset Darien? When he didn't answer I only pushed him against the wall more.

"You said he wasn't jealous so I tested the theory, and he busted my lip wide open."

My eyes widened in disbelief. Anger flared as I let go of Jordan, and grabbed my shoes before running out side. I could hear my mother calling to me, but it stopped the farther I got from the house. I was sure Jordan would explain, and I'd leave him in my mother's anger. I was too upset that he would play something so childish with Darien. He was a sophisticated educated adult who didn't have to waste his precious hours on games. I pushed my legs harder, I needed to explain. I needed to apologize.

**______________________________________________________________________________________**

I raced to his house. I had to get there, I had to apologize to him. I knew that the tears were running down my face, and I knew that people were staring at me as I took down the pavement, but I needed him. When he had let me go before, when he thought he was doing the right thing by me, I was devastated. I could barely function most days, and the nights dragged on painfully. I was hurt, he had taken my heart leaving just a gaping hole in my chest. I couldn't do that again, I wasn't stronger. I wasn't any better off this time, there was no reason except my own idiocy. I should've moved quicker, I should've gotten there before Jordan.

I hesitated outside his apartment building for a split second before rushing in and up the stairs. I raced down the hall, and knocked on the door. It was dark in his apartment, you couldn't see any light from underneath the door. Was he not home yet? Was he wandering alone? Did he go to that woman's house? Was he really down with me? This was it, this silly childish joke was the last straw? I felt my hand that knocked on the wood turned into pounding as the dark thoughts encircled my head.

My hand fell awkwardly into nothing as he opened the door. I couldn't do anything but stare at him for a spilt second. He looked shaken, he looked like the Darien I had first met. But he didn't look upset at my being there, and the tears rolled freely down my cheeks, I had no way of controlling them. I rushed into him, knocking him back. He shut the door as I clung to him. I couldn't stop crying, and I buried my head into his shirt, knowing that I was ruining it. "Serena…"

He said my name so softly, I had to look up. It looked like he was about to say something but stopped unable to go on. I knew it, here it was. He was going to break up with her. I couldn't believe how blind I'd been, there were all the signs, the other women, studying late, going to class and hour early, tired of dealing with me and my friends, and our childish behaviors. He gulped, No. No, No No! I screamed in my head, this wasn't happening I needed to apologize.

"Darien, I'm so sorry that I'm so childish, and selfish. I know I'm a burden, and I'm holding you back, and then all those games Jordan went on to play…" I prattled on about being useless, and that I wasn't good enough for him but I needed him and we had so much together. The words wouldn't stop pouring out of my mouth, and I couldn't… I couldn't stop, I was probably sending him further away, why? Why couldn't I stop being such a bumble head?

"Serena, you are the best thing in my life. I did what I did because I was jealous. I had been so mean to you the past couple of weeks, and then you were alone at your house with your ex-boyfriend…" He trailed off as he grabbed me in a hug, I had been shaking but the moment he grabbed me I felt secure. "I was so scared you'd get fed up with me, Serena."

I gasped at the thought, we had mirrored each other. I turned to look him in the eye. He lowered his head, and I brought mine up to his. Our lips connected and I could feel his certainty. He broke away from me, and I felt a loss. Had I misread the kiss? No, Darien loved me. I pushed up onto my tip toes and secured his lips again. I secured him by snaking my hands around his neck and into his hair pulling him closer. He complied, making the job easier and I decided I would take a risk as I let my tongue brush his lower lip. I unconsciously opened my mouth, and he pushed right in exploring and tasting. I moaned, surprised by my actions as I angled my head to deepen the kiss.

We kissed each other hungrily before I broke for air. My breath was ragged, I couldn't stop the images from pouring into my head as I now had time to look about his apartment. Was she in here with him? Was this just a game to him? I could feel the anger burning inside me, and I wasn't going to let him get away. I was brave I could do this, but I felt my head turn as I asked "Who was that other woman?

"Other woman?" He asked. I wanted to glare at him, how could he not know who the other woman was? Did he have multiple women? He took a while, I couldn't stop myself from thinking he was coming up with a cover story.

"On your last day of exams, you walked from the university to a block from your apartment. A tall brunette?" I said, with as much force as I could. Yes, I had just admitted to practically stalking my boyfriend, but I wanted to know. I needed to know, Darien meant so much to me. I still had no idea what I would do if he admitted to it, if he came right out and told me but I had to hear it. I had to make sure.

"Were you spying on me?" He asked me, I could feel my face tint red, as I looked down at the floor, but only for a second. I turned back up toward him, all my anger firing up again, taking a step back from his embrace. He clutched me closer.

"It isn't spying if you didn't come specifically to follow them around." I muttered, as he chuckled at me. He still didn't deny it. I took a second, and then a third step back breaking though his defenses out of his reach. Glaring up at him, I repeated myself. "You didn't answer my question. Who is she Darien?"

"Her name is Kali; she's in a couple of my classes. She works at that deli a few blocks up, I was exhausted she walked me home to make sure I didn't collapse on the way, and then she went to work." I didn't know what to think about that. I seemed flimsy, but I couldn't doubt him after everything he did today. Jordan's words popped into my head _You said he wasn't jealous, I tested that theory and he busted my lip wide open_. Maybe the games Jordan played were okay, sometimes. "What about Jordan, who is he?"

I looked at him, was he reading my mind? But then I realized that while I knew what Jordan had been doing, had been testing him out and messing with him Darien was not aware of that. He was still jealous and I stopped myself from smiling.

"Jordan is my ex-boyfriend. We dated…" I paused, and delighted in the way his body automatically tensed. "…for a week." I saw his body relax and I moved back in clinging to his shirt. "He's too much like an older brother, than a boyfriend." I pulled his head down bring my lips close to his ear. "Nothing happened." I whispered, satisfied by the shiver that ran through his body. He pulled back and looked at me, I smiled watching him. He was smiling, and he looked so smug in that moment.

He leaned down waiting for a kiss.

* * *

Sorry it took so long for an update. This is the second part, I may be tempted to write more. =] Thanks for all the Reviews!


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